If i come over, it means nothing
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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