Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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