Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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