I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
