I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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