God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
