my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she peed on how many people?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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