I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
