I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
