hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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