Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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