just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
