Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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