he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
