Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
