you win again, gameday.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
