we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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