I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
