god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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