My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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