my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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