at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Boobs speak an international language.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize