i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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