and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
