First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
