Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
