So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
