im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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