Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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