the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
