i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
