Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
