foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
