dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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