If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
