apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
