Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
