I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
"it" just moved
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
where am i from again
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
