i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
