Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
