The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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