i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Randomize