How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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