I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
