I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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