i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
