Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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