Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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