Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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