in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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