Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
