So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
