My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize