So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
