What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
