Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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