it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
