so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize