kristin has been a bad kristin
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
