I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
