i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
