I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
