I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
