did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
